


The Toilet Paper Fic

by Anonymous



Series: Cursed Fics [1]
Category: Video Blogging RPF
Genre: Crack, Crack Relationships, Crack Treated Seriously, Humor, Masturbation, Other, Plot What Plot/Porn Without Plot, Sex, Sex Toys, Toilet Paper Roll - Freeform, soap as lube
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-27
Updated: 2021-02-27
Packaged: 2021-03-18 11:29:12
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 650
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29733210
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/
Summary: Green boys make do.
Relationships: Clay | Dream/Toilet Paper Roll
Series: Cursed Fics [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2192190
Comments: 2
Kudos: 45





	The Toilet Paper Fic

Clay Dream had a problem. 

A very _timely_ problem.

He had to piss. _Now._

“Fuck, Sap, get out of the goddamn bathroom!” Dream cursed, slamming his fist against the bathroom door. He would kill the motherfucker when he got out if he could get away with it. Knowingly, he couldn’t.

“Shut the hell up!” Sapnap called back.

“Fuck you!” Dream scoffed and stormed off. He had to find _somewhere_ to take a fat piss and if he didn’t he would never live it down. A man with piss in his pants is no good man.

So he did what anyone would do: find a public restroom. There was a gas station not too far from their shared house and he calculated it just so that he would be able to hold it in long enough to drive there, grab the key, and shut himself in the grimy gas station men’s room.

Not an ideal situation, but hell, it would have to do.

The handle was gross, the walls were gross, and the floor and sink were no better but Dream didn’t give a shit as he unzipped his jeans and let out every last drop of piss he had in him into the toilet bowl. A sigh of relief left him as he finished, then reached for the toilet paper roll.

Oddly neat and clean for the rest of the room.

He found himself staring at it, rolling his fingers over the soft, layered sheets. It was... _arousing_ , even. How could a roll of toilet paper be sending so many jolts down his spine? Had he noticed it earlier, he wouldn’t have been able to piss at all with how rock hard his cock was growing.

Before he knew it, he was so painfully erect that the head of his cock was beginning to turn purple. Shame and guilt were a thing of the past at this point. There was no way he would be able to head out with such a massive boner now. He would get weird stares!

Like any (in)sane person, he began to stroke his cock with one hand and take the bottle of soap off the sink in his other. He had to set the roll on the toilet to keep it steady as he squirted handfuls of soap into the middle hole, but it was worth it when it _finally_ became slick enough to use for real.

Sliding in, Dream almost came right then and there. His head went fuzzy and bliss overwhelmed every inch of him. He thrust his cock in and out of the roll, watching the soft paper crunch under his tight fist. The cardboard cylinder hugged him like it was using his dick as a lifeline.

By the time he was reaching his climax, someone was banging on the door and yelling a line of curses but Dream didn’t hear it. His ears were ringing and white was flashing across his eyes as he spilled his load through the toilet paper and across the toilet seat below.

_Well, shit._

He came down from his high fairly easily, thanks to the loud shouting from outside. Maybe he was moaning like a porn actor. How is that his fault?

Dream hurried out of the stall after cleaning up his mess and headed home feeling like a new man. Any man would if they discovered some strange new side of themselves.

“Dude, seriously?” Sapnap asked as he stepped back inside the house. “You couldn’t wait like five minutes?”

“No, I couldn’t. I had to _piss_ ,” Dream explained.

“Looks like piss wasn’t the only thing you had to do.”

Dream glanced down and saw that he was hard. Again. “Oh shit.”

“Well, go deal with it, whore.”

“Uh, wait. Did you change the roll of toilet paper in the bathroom?”

Sapnap raised an eyebrow. “Yes? Why?”

“No reason,” Dream coughed out. “Just asking.”

**Author's Note:**

> god save my soul


End file.
